The extrovert hater: war on stupid
This is the story of why I do not like people, and why people generally don’t like me.
Depression is a fucked up thing.
Is there anything else I need to add to this topic?
I read somewhere that living with depression is like being sad all day for no reason, and you remember all the fucking reasons.
When you say the word depression, you are immediately presented with a picture of someone sitting in a dark corner of a room listening to some Goth / Doom / Emo metal.
Well, there was that, and quite a lot. “Life it seems so fade awaaaaay….” Listened to “Fade to Black” by Metallica on repeat.
Yet, with all that, my struggles with depression took kind of a strange turn. From a teenage boy who rebelled against everything, I grow up to be the bearded ashole who is annoyed with everyone, even with the young rebels.
Although at first glance an extrovert, I basically do not want to communicate with people. It may sound awful, but communicating with people on a daily basis generally deepens the misanthropy in me. (To be honest, breathing next to someone awakens misanthropy in me).
Then again, I can’t say I hate humanity.
Humanity and the human race are generally, as an idea, ok. However, the execution of this idea can never work. Actually, execution of the idea is desirable if you know what I mean?
The idea of highly intelligent beings maintaining and leading this world sounds like something phenomenal. The downside of all this is that there are very few of these intelligent beings and that we are mostly led by idiots.
By this I do not mean the big conspiracies of banking globalism, these people are far from idiots. By idiots, I mean the everyday troglodytes who are not conscious enough to close their mouths while eating.
These are the same ones who read the tabloids and vote for Trumps of this world. We always end up knee-deep in shit thanks to those smart cookies.
Despite the great level of anger that daily interaction with a good part of the human species inspires in me, I have never acted aggressively towards objects of my anger.
First of all, because it is socially unacceptable to grab someone by the jaw while chewing loudly beside you, and then persistently make the same sounds in his ear, until his mind falls into the cacophony of madness and begins to propagate the end of the world to come by a large space chewing monster.
Another reason I lack aggression is that I’m incredibly lazy. I have thousands of ideas about what I should do in my life but lack the strength and the will to realize them.
See how depression can save a stranger’s life when he rams his elbow in your ribs on public transportation without even nodding, but instead, he acts like you had the audacity to occupy his personal space.
Now, what I see as totally reasonable and justified intolerance of general stupidity, ignorance, and lack of upbringing, my therapist sees as a projection of my self-destruction and the externalization of self-hatred.
Although I want to argue with him on the subject, since I am paying him hourly for the purpose of helping me, I have allowed myself to listen to him and put all that frustration out in the form of a diary. In that journal, I began to write about everyday occurrences that provoked anger in me.
Yes, I had to write an anger management journal and that annoyed me to bits.
Many things on a daily basis can be the subject of my anger, so I happened to write an entire volume within a few therapies.
Of course, my dear therapist was reading these diaries of mine and I noticed that he often smiles at my outbursts of anger towards the general human population. At first, I thought he was making fun of me, but I realized that the hour I was paying was expensive enough and that he was probably professional enough not to openly mock me.
When I asked him what was funny, he replied that he had never noticed some things. After reading the diary, he would start noticing all my grievances out in the world, and it would make him smile because the way I wrote about it was somewhat humorous.
What a prick!
He even told me that he thought I was right about many things, but that it was unnecessary to get upset about them. People are different and everyone is annoyed by something. Surely my behavior annoys many people too.
I’m sure it does. Me being annoying is a totally objective thing. But I’m not an objective man. I get annoyed when someone doesn’t have table manners or when they believe in all conspiracy theories, and I find it justified. On the other hand, most people get annoyed at me for being an asshole, stubborn, often arrogant and quite unpleasant if I do not like someone.
These are the character traits that I am aware of and consciously ignore without really endangering anyone. What annoys me is their lack of education, their neglect, mental laziness, and their choosing to ignore this qualifies them as unnecessary individuals in society. I know when to shut up and not show my character traits. I know when not to be rude, I have the knowledge of decency and the idea of civility. They don’t even have the idea of decency in front of them, as they set themselves up as a benchmark for everyone, which is exactly what makes them dangerous. They bring everything down to their level.
At least I’m aware that I’m an asshole and stay away from people.
I do not dispute any of this about myself, but I still consider anyone who believes that every opinion is completely valid and important — a complete idiot.
A man who does not know how to use a fork and knife properly, and eats enough for a family of four, is the same man to vote in the assembly to abolish aid to the socially disadvantaged.
I don’t take into account the opinions of people who think that Christian rock is cool. Maybe we should take away their voting rights and/or potentially assign a specially trained guide dog to bite their leg if they start singing: “the loooord loveesss youuuu” to the beet of “Sweet cherry pie” by Def Leppard.
(But damn, those Christian rock songs are as catchy as chlamydia )
So I decided to convey to you in detail all these things that annoy me in this world. I want to explain to you how illogical are the behaviors we accept today as normal and how addictive human stupidity can be.
I hope you will understand me so that we can take a stand against stupidity and bullshit together.
I quote Jim Butcher, the author of the “Dresden Files” series: “Evil isn’t the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it’s a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference.”
In the end, I have to admit that the ultimate goal of my writing is completely selfish.
That is, if enough of you who read this get frustrated enough, you may start to correct the nonsense you see around you, and thus make life easier for me.
Believe me, I don’t care about any common good, not even a little.
What you can also find in the stories I will continue to write are conversations and discussions that have mostly never taken place.
It is generally socially unacceptable for me to react the way I would like to, and I usually do not have a snarky quip ready. The answers come a little later, in the shower, on the toilet, after sex, during a business meeting — a classic story.
Believe me, at first glance I look completely socially adjusted.
I believe that everyone will find at least a part of themselves in the stories to come and that we can start that crusade on stupid.