Asking for help should be the first step
Getting proper help when fighting mental health issues is essential. I learned that the hard way, you do not have to.
“Depression presents itself in the guise of rational thought.”
I cannot remember where I read this, but I pass it on to you. This is your mantra.
Question your view on reality.
The bad thoughts, the dark moments, this is not you. This is the illness, the parasite, that is feeding on your emotions, your energy, and your life strength.
Please understand that you are ill, and as with any illness, you need a doctor. There is no shame in this, and no other way around it.
You are not just in a rough patch. No “life hack” will turn this around for you. Your depression and anxiety are crippling you in your day to day life. It does not have to be that way.
So please just stop listening to random idiots and go see a professional therapist or a psychiatrist.
It is not that hard, trust me. You already obviously want to get better, because you are reading a blog post hoping to learn something that would help you go through this.
This is good, this means you are motivated.
Now close your browser or your app, get up, and get help.
There are no shortcuts. There is no “easy way”.
This is not just a difficult battle, this is a constant war.
The only way to lose is to stop fighting it. You can’t quit life. That will not stop the pain.
As long as you feel the pain, you are alive, and you can fight.
If you quit, you are just adding to the pain of those who love you.
I am sure that by now have you are convinced that nobody loves you, and no one will miss you.
That is not real. This illness has warped your perception of reality. This illness is lying to you.
Imagine it as the Emperor from Star Wars and you are Luke Skywalker. It is manipulating your perception of the world so it can gain control. But once you realize what it is doing, you can break free, no matter how long it had its claws in you. You can toss it down the shaft just like Darth Vader.
And no matter how bad you fucked up in your life, that act can redeem you for the future.
Get up, ask for help, and start fixing your shit.
I know you are scared. I have been there. I am still afraid.
Although asking for help takes bravery, it takes very little effort.
And this is why getting help is your first step.
All the stress that you have suffered in life has injured you, made you bleed, and as with any other injury, first, you need to stop the bleeding and then start therapy so you can function again.
The first step you must take is to go to a professional, a doctor, for he can stop the “bleeding”. He can help you restore the chemical balance of your brain, help you see the reality without the self-deprecating filter. Once medicine gets you up to speed, get into therapy. Find a psychologist, a psychotherapist, who will teach you how to use your mental limbs again, as a physical therapist would help you use a broken leg.
(I would like to mention that not everyone needs medication, but that is for a doctor to decide)
Professional help is a necessity, and “self-help” books, life coaches, motivational speakers or other popular witch doctors won’t be able to fully help you.
They always talk in an interesting and attractive language and it all seems just so easy.
You just have to take these 10 steps or do the “thing” as soon as you wake up and you are healed. They have some useful tips and you can use some of the advice from those books, but make sure that you go to a specialist.
Perhaps the best analogy to use here is diabetes. A proper medical doctor will need to diagnose you and help you live with the illness, but you can always consult a nutritionist to help you find a more suitable food plan, and help you live with the condition.
Get some help, proper help.
Get pissed off, get angry and say: no more! You have had enough of the pain, and the doubt, of feeling unworthy, guilty and lost.
I have lost so many battles, and have given up hope so many times before I could even have a tiny glimpse of success. But with proper help, with good support, trench by trench, step by step, I started gaining more ground towards a decisive victory.
However, full peace can never be achieved, and constant vigilance is required to keep my bad times at bay.
Trust me, you can get better. You can be happy.
I know that easy solutions sound so good. You like that there is a plan, something you can do by yourself, of your own effort.
But in doing it by yourself, without a doctor and a therapist, you are alone in this fight. There is no scaffolding to hold you when you fall, and you will fall.
Doing it by yourself is again the illness lying to you. Remember, when Luke Skywalker had faith in his friends, the emperor could not turn him. As soon as Luke started fighting, feeling that only he can save the whole rebellion, he almost fell to the dark side. Once he was opened and vulnerable again, he has received help from his father. It took the two of them to defeat the dark side.
In opening yourself to a professional, who will not abuse your emotional state is the first step toward healing.
It scares the shit out of you. People hurt you in the past. Most likely someone in your childhood mistreated your love and innocence so you think that the whole world is out to get you.
The world does not care. In the global scale of things, we are all insignificant.
So, you might as well have someone whose job is to care.